Jen: Hey guys, it's Jen.
Jason: Hi.
Jen: And Jason.
Jason: How you doing?
Jen: My beefy man. So here we are. it's Valentine's Day, and we are not very romantic people, I must say.
Jason: I think we're romantic people, we just don't adhere to the idea that you have to do it on a certain day.
Jen: Okay yeah. We don't present [x2] as romantic people, I guess.
Jason: Just because it is sanctioned that way.
Jen: Public consumerism.
Jason: Socially.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: We can do Valentine's Day any day!
Jen: We can! There isn't that much pink and red stuff available at other times of year.
Jason: It's actually better to do it right after Valentine's Day.
Jen: Yes, much cheaper. That is actually one of the propositions, or parts of the proposition.
Jason: I'm sorry, did I jump ahead?
Jen: Yeah, how dare you. How dare you know me.
Jason: Well, I'm sorry if the people that are listening didn't know about that, but yeah, you can get discounts on Valentine's Day shit after Valentine's Day.
Jen: Honestly, like I said, I even feel like the same night. But so, what are... [bubbling]
Jason: That's our sink.
Jen: Yeah. I love living in the city. I think that is loud enough that it is, like, that it does affect the recording a little bit, I don't know.
Jason: I mean it's annoying it's annoying most most recording spaces won't have that.
Jen: Won't have a sink?
Jason: Yeah.
Jen: Won't have a bubbling sink.
Jason: But you know, this is fine.
Jen: What is this?
Jason: This is almost done, and this is ready to go. I'm drinking two beers.
Jen: It's really annoying that alcoholics are charming.
Jason: Because I cracked—
Jen: Currently, you are double-fisting.
Jason: Based on the weight I would not call this double fisting.
Jen: You’re libra handing.
Jason: I'm a Pisces.
Jen: I know but you're Libra handing because…
Jason: They're the scale?
Jen: They're always like I'm so balanced and it's like you're a psycho. Okay, back to us.
Jason: Yeah yeah.
Jen: …And the celebration of our love that we feel socially pressured to address. What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?
Jason: First and foremost, I want to get my tooth fixed.
Jen: Hell yeah! I forgot. 10AM?
Jason: That's what I'm doing on Valentine's Day. I'm getting my tooth fixed—
Jen: Fuck yeah.
Jason: which was over a half a year ago. I called at like 5 in the morning to... I was like, hey, I need this [tooth fixed]. And they're like, a’right. And I just sat in the lobby until they had an opening. Yeah, I had the root canal—
Jen: Was it broken?
Jason: No, well no. It was broken. And then it got infected. It's when we were at the Resident, and we were seeing [music]. I had those tacos and I took a bite, and I felt a piece of onion go right into the hole of where my broken tooth was. And then within the next couple days it became infected, and then so painful that I had temporary put in for— I finally went back to get my permanent and now I have to wait for another week so—
Jen: why do you have to wait for another week?
Jason: Surprisingly, my teeth moved within six months maybe or something.
Jen: Which I heard happens, I knew that happens after a long time, and that's why I got on you. But I guess six months is the long time that the temporary filling is supposed to last.
Jason: Yeah, yeah. So they had made me a cap, a permanent, and it didn't fit. So they have to make a new one, and now I need to get the new one put in a week, or next week, which is Valentine's Day—
Jen: Valentine's Day.
Jason: Yeah, yeah.
Jen: The morning of Valentine's Day.
Jason: Exactly.
Jen: Then what are you doing after that?
Jason: Well, you asked me to get Jimmy John's.
Jen: Hell yeah, I did.
Jason: I'm getting Jimmy John's and that's our plan, our Valentine's Day plan for now. Leroy is under the recording station and I put my foot under it and I got too close to her toy now.
Jen: Oh, Snakey.
Jason: She attacked me.
Jen: Her baby toy.
Jason: No, not Snakey.
Jen: Oh, her baby, her new ball. I gave Leroy the balls off my hat.
Jason: Her binary rat.
Jen: Hah, it is. It's a minimalist—
Jason: A ball on a string.
Jen: It's her minimalist mouse.
Jason: She's like, I love this binary rat. So Valentine's Day.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: So our idea was, I'm gonna get my tooth fixed, finally. I'm gonna pick up Jimmy John's and I was gonna meet you at your salon.
Jen: Yeah, because you’re going to be done at a time that would be convenient for me to have a midday lunch, but not to necessarily leave with you.
Jason: And then I had mentioned wanting to go to the Grove just to look at hot sauces, because they have a hot sauce [store]. And you're like, well let's do that on Valentine's Day.
Jen: You would have to meet up with me leaving work.
Jason: I would but yeah—
Jen: Logistically it's very annoying.
Jason: For me, not for you.
Jen: Yeah, I understand you though.
Jason: Like, I would be back here at a comfortable time, just chilling at the apartment before I have to go back out, you know? So that's why I'm not opposed to it. But that doesn't necessarily sound like a Valentine's Day date. I mean going to the Grove, like, we could do a bunch of stuff that's… What were you thinking, you had, like, other ideas, like, for Valentine's Day dates that weren't high-end restaurants, hopefully?
Jen: No, I mean. Oh you mean like, like to Jemma! or something? No, I that's— that would be fucking a nightmare, to go to a fancy restaurant on Valentines.
Jason: Yeah, because you would need a reservation. They have the Valentine's Day menu.
Jen: Yeah and so, it's like a— it's like that, that rush that reality TV shows create for their kitchens once they've made them over, and I just feel bad for kitchen staff on that day.
Jason: Yeah I mean, that's just another reason why I— well, we don't like that type of…
Jen: Well, yeah, so, no, nothing [x2] fancy, nothing that requires a change of shirt. Although the Grove is kind of a fancy environment with it's faux-European aesthetic or whatever, and its fountains and shit.
Jason: Walking around a mall is not fancy.
Jen: No, I agree, but it looks—
Jason: It looks fancy…
Jen: Fancy…
Jason: That's appearing fancy.
Jen: See maybe we should go there. We should go to the Grove and get you hot sauce, and then get an ice cream or something. That's date-like, right?
Jason: Like I said, I was like, you know, we don't have to just go to hot sauce. Cuz, like when you said that, like, let's do that for Valentine's Day. I was like, well…
Jen: Well, yeah.
Jason: at least we can go get an empanada or something like that.
Jen: So the reason— I wonder if the empanadas are gonna be heart-shaped? I'm obsessed with finding heart-shaped, food because pizza places will do it. And I was like, what if Denny's does it for the eggs in the Moons over My Hammy or something?
Jason: The empanada is like—
Jen: Oh because, they have, like, a, it's like a presser. They press them closed, right? You can press them into a heart shape.
Jason: Yeah,
Jen: Instead of into a shell.
Jason: I like an empanada, but there's also a lot of other stuff.
Jen: There's a lot of other stuff. I don't… yeah, I bet— see the thing is though, any other place would be busy. I think one of my co-workers works at the sushi joint so maybe we could go see him.
Jason: You don't think that place is gonna be bumpin'?
Jen: Well, no, but maybe we get special treatment.
Jasno: Because you know someone?
Jen: Yeah.
Jasno: That's a part of LA. If you know someone.
Jen: If you know somebody, you get the hookup.
Jason: You bank on that.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: That's a possibility, for sure.
Jen: A lot of my other hookups have disappeared over the years. The other guy who moved away, he used to hook me up, but I would bring him—
Jason: The Trump guy?
Jen: Yeah, but I would bring him drugs. So…
Jason: Nice.
Jen: I would bring him edibles, and he would he would be like, what you got for me today? I just give it to him, and then he kind of— I don't know that he would even assess a discount to be based on what I brought. He would just, like, not ring up drinks, you know?
Jason: Nice. Yeah, yeah.
Jen: Like, he would run by and fill it, and be like shut up and then run away.
Jason: Interesting.
Jen: So yeah. Um, oh! So this is something I had— this is a thought I had a long— Oh, okay, so I also have a surprise… I guess I'll attempt a possible surprise. See, this is— here. Okay.
Jason: It’s not going to be a surprise if you tell me right now.
Jen: I’m not telling you.
Jason: Okay.
Jen: I’m gonna lead up to it later. What I liked about the idea of going to The Grove and getting you a hot sauce, is your interest and excitement in hot sauce. It’s rare that you hear about something you like or are interested in online, that is not also online. Like, this is something we can do in person, whereas a lot of things are just like, oh I saw a video, I read an article. It doesn't lead to new adventure. That's why I'm interested in going to the hot sauce store, and then we can also branch off from there to do other things, and there's a variety of restaurants and stuff. If you want to get empanadas we can.
Jason: The reason I keep bringing it up is, because we had a nice date there before. When it comes to dates I'm, like, I feel like you have a better mindset for all that, so when I'm like, oh let's go to the Grove. I'm like, let's go to the place that we went before because that was fun before.
Jen: I keep forgetting that I already have plans for your birthday, and so then I think of things to do for your birthday, and then I'm like, oh we already have plans so I'm gonna move it to Valentine's Day. and then I'm like, impossible.
Jason: Yeah, I mean usually I don't like my birthdays. But I've liked my birthday since we've been together. Not a surprise person, you know. You've kind of—
Jen: Forced it upon you. Well, I'll stop.
Jason: No, no, no, no. It's something that you like to do, so I'm not going to stop that, obviously. But, like, me, personally, I'm like, you know, this is not something that I... But every time you've done it, like, I'm a fan of it. I like it a lot, you know? So I just let it happen, and it's great. Part of me is like, I want to know, what are you planning?
Jen: Well, I already told you part of your birthday.
Jason: I forgot.
Jen: Good. That's cool. Okay. It's not that exciting, I guess.
Jason: I don't know. I didn't forget it because it's not that exciting. I just forgot it.
Jen: So, one thing I came up with for Valentine's Day— and the reason I came up with this is because I'm editing an episode right now about bars that I like and don't like.
Jason: Look, man. I've been to a lot of fucking bars in this area.
Jen: But yeah, no… Every time— so many people tell me about it. They're like, it's so crowded; you have to stand outside; there's always a line... I’m like, this sounds like a nightmare.
Jason: That place in particular—
Jen: It takes forever to get a drink.
Jason: Yeah.
Both: Unless you know the guy.
Jason: Which, now we do.
Jen: If only the Oaks had food.
Jason: They do have food, it's just outside.
Jen: I know, and then I thought, we could order food from outside and eat it by the fire.
Jason: Yeah, that's romantic. That's great, that's a good way to end Valentine's Day, for sure.
Jen: But! You know what's even more romantic? Pigging out at home in bed.
Jason: That's what we do normally.
Jen: Yeah and I love it.
Jason: But if you're buying into the whole Valentine's Day thing, that's not Valentinesy.
Jen: I know, exactly.
Jason: But if you're just talking to me, I'm totally fine with that. But if we're trying to do a Valentine's thing or something special...
Jen: Time with me is always special.
Jason: You got it, babe. We could just get fucking tacos outside of the Oaks and just bring them back home.
Jen: Right. I wish they would give us cups to go. I like how you used to be able to do during the pandemic, when it was the wild west of liquor laws. I loved it. In the styrofoam soup containers ordering a pitcher of sangria as a to-go item. I don't know why they got rid of that. I loved it. Oh, now I'm sad. The pandemic was rad, man.
Jason: It was not rad for everyone.
Jen: It wasn't rad for everyone. I'm sorry if things happened… And then I said Denny's would be a restaurant that we wouldn't need a reservation at. And then I got excited about the idea of them molding their eggs. But well, I was thinking Denny's, then you said Arby's, and I was like I do like an Arby's.
Jason: Well, no. The reason I said that is because we were talking about what you, like, a thing that you would want to do, other than what we had already discussed. So I immediately, like, I launched, and I said I would guess you probably want to go to Arby's, because we've done several Arby's dates.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: You know, because Arby's is great. Fuck what you've heard, it's fucking fantastic. And, um, we can do that. But if you want to do Denny's that's fine, too.
Jen: But if we're doing the mall—
Jason: I feel like that's like overkill, you know, if you want to do Denny's—
Jen: Right, exactly.
Jason: Because we're already doing Jimmy John's.
Jen: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. So our coin toss…
Jason: So you're saying, going either to the Grove, or going to Denny's.
Jen: Or Arby's.
Jason: Or Arby’s, which, you know— I just threw that out there because I thought that's where you were going with it. I don't see the— I don't see any reason we can't do Jimmy John's, the Grove, come back home, and then make it to, like Denny's. I think that's fine. Denny's for dinner.
Jen: Well what if we order it in?
Jasno: That's fine, too.
Jen: Or what if—
Jason: You want to skip the ambiance of fucking Denny's?
Jen: No, I guess we don't— I guess that is—
Jason: I was joking.
Jen: Part of the joy of being there. But also, what if we just don't. What about not Denny's because we make breakfast food all the time, I realized.
Jason: We've only recently started doing breakfast.
Jen: I know, and it's delicious. But what are we paying for? We're really good at it.
Jason: We don't do it [x2]. Don’t act like we do it nearly as good as Denny's does. Like, we make it at home. I mean, you're a good cook. I'm not a great cook.
Jen: Do you think those mashed potatoes are still good?
Jason: I would hope so.
Jen: I have to smell them, I guess.
Jason: Do you want to do it on the pod?
Jen: No. Do a live... A live smell test.
Jason: Live smell.
Jen: Will you go get them for me?
Jason: We're doing it.
Jen: Because you know what? I need to fry those up, or we need to eat these tonight.
Jason: See, I thought that you were going to do that when Annette was here.
Jen: Oh, yeah, you're right, I should have. Oh, they are still good. But they're gonna go soon, so we should either do that...
Jason: We can make them tomorrow.
Jen: Okay.
Jason: What do you want to do, like, pancakes? Potato pancakes?
Jen: Yeah, kind of like lat-kees.
Jason: I don't know anything about...
Jen: So latkes also have, like, um...
Jason: Latkes? That's potato pancakes?
Jen: Yeah, but I like to say lat-kee. I don't know why. My family said lat-kee, I think. Um, so, let's lay it out. Jimmy John's is a for sure. After Jimmy John's, what is the coin toss for you?
Jason: Oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm coming home, and we either— I either meet you back over there—
Jen: By the mall, at the mall.
Jason: Yeah, or we go to Denny's. Because these things are happening at different times, you know? Like, I would want Denny's to be a late later night thing, you know?
Jen: Like how later?
Jason: I always go to Denny's, I would always go to Denny's like at past dinner, you know, but that's just me.
Jen: That is when you go to a Denny's. You go late night or you go like on a Tuesday on a road trip with your family.
Jason: Jimmy John's is a lunch.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: The Grove [x2] is a snack.
Jen: Is it a snack, or is it our dinner? Because the sun will be setting.
Jason: I think we should go to the Grove—
Jen: Okay.
Jason: I think we should go to the Grove and have whatever you want to call it, and then come home. And then we can decide whether or not we want to go to Denny's, which is where you have breakfast food at a later time.
Jen: Do you want to go to Denny's, or could we order Denny's?
Jason: We're here. We’re gonna be here. So we decide whether we want to go there or order in.
Jen: Okay.
Jason: Now, Valentine's Day might be a shitty time to fucking order in. That's my only concern. I don't want to fucking... It's just like ordering in the rain.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: Because it is like... Because walking there is another, like, date. That's like another nice thing that we can do.
Jen: Okay!
Jason: Yeah, but I know you want to— but you do like the idea of having, like, a dinner— a bed dinner date, you know?
Jen: Yeah, always.
Jason: But on a special day, I'm kind of conflicted. If we have the energy—
Jen: If anything, we could walk to the CVS and see what's on sale.
Jason: Honestly, I would be surprised if candy was discounted that day. We might have to go to Denny's and then to a bar, wait till midnight, and then come back to CVS and see. Maybe then they'll be discounted.
Jen: For whatever holiday is next, Easter, I suppose, is coming up after Valentine's Day. So that's the next thing they'll have seasonal candy for.
Jason: Right, they gotta make room for all the Easter candy. What is Easter?
Jen: Zombie Jesus Day.
Jaspn: Zombie Jesus, yeah. It's where all the bunnies lay eggs for Jesus' death? Pr his resurrection.
Jen: All the bunnies lay eggs around a daffodil to fertilize the ground that Jesus grows out of. Why doesn't everybody know that?
Jason: The name daffodil sounds really insulting. What are you, a fucking daff-o-dil?
Jen: Well, so those are our options—I have to not yawn— for what we are going to do the evening of Valentine's Day.
Jason: I'm excited to see how it pans out.
Jen: I hope I win.
Jason: I'm excited for my new tooth.
Jen: You're excited for your new tooth?
Jason: And also our romance, you know.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: But also my new tooth.
Jen: Yeah, I'm excited for your new tooth, too.
Jason: Yeah.
Jen: Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Okay, here you go.
Jason: Oh, thank you.
Jen:It looks pink, but it's not. It's clear.
Jason: Right on.
Jen: But it's very smooth.
Jason: When you said, oh yeah, I want to record this, I thought you— When you initially said you wanted to do, like, what we, prospectively were gonna do?
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: Versus what we actually did, I thought you meant, like, we were going to do a recap after the fact, you know?
Jen: I know, but since you're here, I figured we could.
Jason: Sure.
Jen: That makes sense, too. I was thinking we could do that tonight.
Jason: Sure.
Jen: But I also thought, why not catch a little snippy? Why not?Why not catch a little snippy?
Jason: I just got back from the dentist.
Jen: And it looks good. How do you feel? Normal?
Jason: Bitey.
Jen: You feel bitey? You feel ready to eat pizza and sandwiches?
Jason: Yep, Yeah I got Jimmy John's, and now we're also getting pizza—
Jen: Heart-shaped pizza from the joint next door, because they advertised it in the window. And it's my favorite thing that only can occur once a year, like the McRib. For a lot of people, the McRib is that thing.
Jason: Yeah, yeah. Any idea what you want to do for the rest of the night?
Jen: Well, I don’t—
Jason: Once you get off work?
Jen: So yesterday, we just decided we're not going to the Grove.
Jason: If we had more money, maybe.
Jen: Which is fine.
Jason: If we had more of a purpose.
Jen: Yeah. Since we're getting both pizza and sandwiches, for now and later, yeah I would say just as good to put on sweatpants and pig out. Like, that is ultimate romance. What movie should we watch?
Jason: You wanted to watch Weekend at Bernie's again.
Jen: Yeah!
Jason: Yeah, I'm down with that, yeah.
Jen: Yeah, do you want to watch one and two?
Jason: If we make it, if we make it through, yeah. I don't mean— I mean like if we fall asleep or something. But yeah, of course.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: I can't remember the last time we watched it, or if I've seen both of them even.
Jen: Really?
Jason: I mean, I don't recall. I was just thinking about this, how many movies that I saw just in passing growing up, like The Terminator, like, I don't know. I think I saw it on television once.
Jen: One or two?
Jason: I don't know.
Jen: Edward Furlong or no?
Jason: Yeah, on the dirt bike?
Jen: Two.
Jason: Two, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I've seen the second one, but I don't remember anything about it. But not that I want to watch. I'm just saying, like, I haven't seen a lot of classic movies, and I think Weekend at Bernie's is one of them. But—
Jen: Well, we'll find out tonight when we watch them, and you go, oh, yeah, this is the one. This is the two.
Jason: Bernie's still in, Bernie's in both of them?
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: Is he dead in both of them?
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: Oh, okay. Did they film them back to back?
Jen: No, because he wasn't actually dead, he was acting, so he's not decaying.
Jason: Oh, okay.
Jen: They didn't have to film him back-to-back.
Jason: That's not what I meant.
Jen: They could just say that they occurred back-to-back.
Jason: I meant that they make them and then they're like, There’s two! It's a two-parter. Or was there such a demand for a second Weekend at Bernie's that they're like, yeah.
Jen: I think that was the case.
Jason: The people are clamoring.
Jen: I think the latter happened.
Jasno: Bring me Bernie… [singing] Who let the dead out!
Jason: So what was the first thing that you were taught to cook on your own? Like they were taught it and then you could do it on your own?
Jen: Well, soup in the microwave of course but in theory, it was—
Jason: That's just popping a can and put it in the microwave?
Jen: In the bowl, yeah. But you had to know to put it in the bowl, and not just in the can. But in theory, I also knew how to make a grilled cheese. I knew how to heat up two pieces of bread with cheese in between. But here's the trick, yeah, I thought it would be faster to use the heating duct that came from the floor in between the kitchen and the dining room.
Jason: More energy efficient, definitely.
Jen: Well, I knocked it in.
Jason: Oh, you knocked the cheese into the vent?
Jen: I knocked the entire sandwich into the vent.
Jason: That's what I meant, the grilled cheese, into the vent.
Jen: Yeah.
Jason: That sucks.
Jen: It was in there. It's still in there. I know the people who bought that— unless—
Jason: You couldn’t just unscrew the vent and take it out, get it out?
Jen: So, it was an open duct into the floor.
Jason: Okay.
Jen: Because my dad had torn down the wall in between the kitchen and the dining room…
Jason: Gotcha.
Jen: And there is an open duct. So, it fell into the open duct, and that was about four feet down,
Jason: Wait, there was a four foot drop?
Jen: Before it made an L-shape—
Jason: Oh.
Jen: Into the basement, towards the furnace and—
Jason: You need a grabber for that.
Jen: Yeah, we didn’t have a grabber at the time.
Jason: So did you grill your cheese? Or did you microwave your grilled cheese? Because…
Jen: Here’s the thing, I…
Jason: You said you just heated up two pieces of bread and some cheese.
Jen: That’s how I thought I could get away with making grilled cheese easier. Eventually I learned the right way, but that’s definitely the first thing I did. But also, I used to microwave sandwiches. Uh, mayonnaise sandwiches.
Jason: Alright.
Jen: Do you know those?
Jason: Just two pieces of bread and some mayonnaise?
Jen: Mm-Hmm.
Jason: Yeah, okay. I mean, that’s aptly named.
Jen: Yeah. Poverty food.
Jason: Oh yeah, I get it.
Yeah. But yeah. So tell me about your grilled cheese experience.
Jason: My dad taught me how to make grilled cheese in a pan. Where you, you just butter up both sides, the outside of the buns, or the outside of the bread. Put a couple pieces of cheese in the middle. You fry up one side, and flip it, the other way. Cut it in half and then you can, again, heat up some tomato soup or something with it as well.
Jen: When you were taught how to make the grilled cheese, did you learn the value of temperature setting?
Jason: Obviously not. Based on the way that I cook everything on high. No, you eyeball it. I didn't, maybe they told me to put on medium or something like that. But I didn't get that detail, I just, like, turned the thing on.
Jen: He's smoking and walking through the lobby. I miss the 80s.
Jason: You don’t even smoke.
Jen: Not anymore. But I would if it was the 80s. [singing along] Some never know… Ooh, Ooh… Weekend at Bernie’s Part One!
[~*guitar solo*~]
A Man, A Plan