[This is a video! Taken from a live stream I did when my internet went out and all I could do was use my phone to talk about myself. I did the best I could with digital disturbances. Enjoy!]
Does anybody remember the documentary talk show special event about two grown men who claimed that they were molested by Michael Jackson when they were kids? His name was Wade, I don't know. The other one just sat silently because his wife had encouraged him to do it, to do the show.
I would love to be corrected, I would love an update on where they are…
I always felt like the second guy, I just felt like he was full of shit. I felt like he, in passing, told his wife that he had been molested by Michael Jackson, as like a clout/sympathy type of thing, and then she was like, you've got to go on this talk show about it! Because he looked so sheepish and embarrassed to be there.
If there's one thing I know about victims, obviously, as we've seen lately, is they're not very embarrassed at all. Every victim I've ever seen has actually been really fucking strong and able to speak their truth really well. Which is why they keep silencing them.
But anyway, what did Aaron Carter say? I said, are y'all crazy? I said, what you think I'm going to do? Tell you that Michael did something bad so that we can sue him for money. Too many things. Remember, that’s what Peter Thiel wants. Oh, there's just too many things, dude!
Okay, so.
I have long thought, I have long— Honestly this is fucked up… I'm not happy with the state of the world. Everything is really fucked up.
But boy, do I feel like I'm home.
Boy, do I feel like this is exactly where I knew I was supposed to fucking be. This is exactly… I have long known that I would be existing during… during the crumbling of society. And I also know that I will survive through it. I cannot say that for everybody. Like, I'm just— I know that I'm going to die of natural causes. And if somebody tries to pull another card, I'll know that, too. The point [is] I know I'm okay.
The thing is, everything is in perfect alignment for me to do exactly what I want to do, because everything is falling apart. And that leaves a lot of opportunity for [me] people to restart entire industries, and that's what I'm relying on, basically… Because we look at it right now, all these companies… Even if, I don't know, man… Like, the worst, the least bad guy in like movie stuff that I can think of, still has a weird foot thing, you know? So it's like, everything is bad up there. But once we all say, fuck this, we don't want to support these bad people…
I already know what I think should happen with everything. I am not capable of what I think should happen with everything. I think that we all could be capable of doing what I think should happen with everything. But I do not think that a lot of people agree with me that, A, that is the right option and B, that we have the ability and whatever. I get it. So the thing that I believe is most correct to occur, now that we know what we know, that this shit is happening…
Things I've written are real now—
So do I think that people were eating people? I got to say, like, I want to know how it was prepared because the description of cream cheese…
Well, no, this and this happens because, because there are bad people in the story. And people don't like that. They don't like that, X, Y, Z can happen, things that they find appalling or unbelievable…
Where do I go next? So now what? Life just fucking continues.
If I incepted it from the air, then it was already out there, it already existed. Maybe it's a jaded-ism. Maybe I've just been through too much.
This is just a folder called Plots. I don’t go through this file folder regularly enough. I came up with a fake reality show.
Fuck me, I just realized. [This] is based off a short story from a horror anthology book that I do not have anymore, I don't know where it went. The original story was about the babysitter, the babysitter is amazing. The moms are always so satisfied with how tired the children always are… He's been draining the babies of blood and he's trying to sell it to… I think in the original story it was as a youth elixir. I have it as a bitters. Have a sip and tell me it isn't different from anything you've ever tasted. Baby's blood. Powerful name, powerful drink. Three pages, three minutes, it's a three minute short. That's not true, they say that it's a page a minute. It's not. I know, [mumble bullshit]. It’s not. Also, once I type this out, it's probably going to be closer to 15 minutes long. I have very tiny handwriting. Tiny handwriting, by the way, is a sign of, gosh, parkies, I think. Anyway, so baby's blood. I'm like, this shit's so old. This is, I wrote this on three ring notebook paper. Definitely in like 2002. That's how old. This is from 2002.
…This is something different. I don't know what it is… but it's good. This is almost like, I just realized, oh my gad, this is almost like The Number 27, [which came out] at least two years after I wrote this. This can be a music video, we'll leave that out too. Just, I loved the story, I don't think I'm ever going to use it… A mystical aspect of being lost in the desert and the visuals that come along with it. Now having been to the desert of Utah, I think the desert of Utah is a completely alien place. It's really cool. It used to be underwater, it's amazing.
…The Baby's Blood. That's definitely real. Yeah. It's crazy, that's crazy that that's real now…
The Ruiners, not applicable, but I do need to pull it out, because The Ruiners actually can be combined with the visuals from the other short that I'm never going to write, or that I'm never going to complete. That's more of a— it's not a writing job, it's an editing job, so I gotta figure that out.
…This is called, I don't know what this is. I mean, I know what I want it to be called, but… In it, there are several gangs of people, involving replacing corpses with dummy corpses…
You know, okay…
Epstein is alive and he was replaced ?in the casket? by Hillary Clinton's ?cousin, brother? And I mean, looking at the pictures, the guys don't look anything alike. But that's something, that's something that's in this movie. I'm going to put this back in the file.
…This one is primarily irrelevant except that the things I wrote in it came true for me personally… But this one I have to finish soon, because again, now that I, let's see…
Well, okay. Black Lake is only very tangentially related to anything that's happened. So, along with making “alters,” I heard that they've made “splits,” which are like… Instead of having multiple personalities inside one body, you've trained two people to think that they're the same person. And this is about that!
This is about a boy who was born a twin, who is raised as one person with his twin. And his twin is killed, so for the rest of his life, he lives in a basement hidden from the world, until his keeper dies.
It's kind of similar to Barbarian, except not stupid, in that there's a creature who lives in the basement and there's a keeper and there's town myths about this person. Also again, started writing this… Wrote this last, and the name came to me when I found the location, and the location is in Black Lake. Again! Connections to… North Fox Island is, I think, kind of near here. I'm going to leave that one out, too.
Tangentially, I feel in a weird way, like my life has always kind of mirrored all of this stuff. I saw this, like all these little blonde girls, all these little blonde girls in this one picture, surrounded by all these fucking middle managers, so weird.
I thought, Oh my God, it looks like a room full of me’s. Like, I could have been there. And then I was like, why wasn't I invited? How come nobody invited me? Nobody wanted me on the island. >=[ I mean, it's not like I was saved from anything. I was still raped and molested, so it doesn't really matter, ultimately.
I was trying to be a child model and I was rejected from an agency, which now I know means that nobody wanted to fuck me. And I mean, I know that as an adult trying to get an agency as well. I wasn't considered sellable until I was 17, and by then it was too late. I got my first modeling agency as a later teen.
As far as this pageant shit goes, this teen USA stuff, I wanted to do that, too; The major stopping thing for me was the money. (I have intensely high confidence.) The similarities I've noticed just… It could have been any of us.
Bobby Lee and Loretta. Okay, I wanted to make this one both ways. I wanted to make this one with genders reversed. It's about a showgirl— Well, it's about an understudy, who is kidnapped and held in a house to satisfy his own reputation and visibility. But I wanted to make it both ways. I wanted to make it with a woman who was kidnapping and building the career of a man as well. Just to see how that would play out.
…Put that away… Oh, yeah, okay— When his friends come over, one of them tries to rape her comatose body. He chases them out of the house and they argue about who is a worse person; What's wrong with you? Well, what's wrong with you, man? Like, I just tried to fuck her, but you have her in the house. It's real.
…Real. It's about an oil family in Texas. That part actually is real, it's based on real life; they will never recognize themselves in it. But I hope, you know… Unfortunately, it looks like a lot of other people are going to recognize themselves in it.
Real. Only thing that makes zombies mythical is the undead aspect. We know there are people who eat people. What are we going to do? I know what I'm going to do, if I have to, if I ever get the opportunity to do. I know things.
I don't think that other people believe in the ability of themselves to do something, even if it is one single something. But also, they don't think it's their responsibility. They still believe in the responsibility of the structures that are hiding all of these people. And I ask them, I ask you, if you believe in justice in the traditional sense, in the classical sense:
How do you expect justice to occur when the people who are supposed to meter justice are also inside of this stuff? What do you think is going to happen? Nothing. Nothing is going to happen. Nothing has ever happened. Nothing will continue to happen.
So if you want something to happen, you're gonna have to do it, right? Since that's not going to happen, we're looking at this fact that these people exist. They live here. Now what?
Imagine if aliens came, right? And aliens were also eating babies. And we had to go to the government— who's eating babies— and be like, hey man, can you help us stop the alien baby eaters? And your best argument is that they're taking your babies, they're taking the government's edible babies.
I actually don't even know if I want to make that one anytime soon. Zombie movies are some of my least favorite movies because they require a lot of props makeup, and a lot of extras.
(…This has nothing to do with anything, but I do want it out…)
…This is the most— well, I guess not the most relevant to today. Well, okay. Yeah, okay. [Satan is] a mobster in Star Island, Florida, with the four horsemen of the apocalypse… He's basically like this giant celebrity guy who has lots of power and real estate, and a couple of dumb sons who do boxing matches for his affection. This, I wrote this, again 2002.
I'ma be honest, I don't really remember what the plot of this was, much like I don't know what the plot of these next few days are going to be. I don’t think I ever want to finish this one. I think I'm going to let it be open air. However, one of the ones I don't think I have here… I wrote another one about a guy who owns a hotel, and bothers a lot of people, and the boxing sons are still in it. Relevant portions with the assassination attempt, [I wrote] right before the ear thing happened.
…Honestly, this just isn't that good. Like, like clearly the concept is functional. It's happening.
Ooh! An empty folder. It's ready for ideas.
[~*guitar solo*~]
